"davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction) 07/23/2020 at 10:13 • Filed to: None

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You can argue about the aesthetic merits of derelict cars all day long, but there’s no denying that a large population sees them as nothing more than ugly. And to make matters worse, those people vote . Probably because they have a lot of free time that’s not taken up by trying to hammer a firewall to fit an A727 + 440 combination into a Dart, but vote they do nonetheless. And so, a lot of gearheads are affected by poorly-thought-out fascist edicts about not having more than two broken cars on their property at a time.

For years, I’ve been representing shitty car nerds in their quests to obtain more shitty cars. The courts can’t keep me or my attack dog of an attorney from knocking down their terrible legislation in state courthouse after state courthouse. However, we have neither the time nor the resources to win them all (the company Volare keeps breaking down.) For those regions that still have these atrocious rules on the books, we offer an alternative service.

In the course of my travels, I’ve picked up a lot of “free-thinking” individuals. I don’t know if there’s a more polite term for them. There’s not much that society has left for this kind of individual, one who prizes freedom above all else. No one could put them to work. No one could make them into law-abiding, productive members of society. No one but me.

If the Man is harassing you, then call on my guys. They’ll show up in a ratty-ass pickup truck and re-landscape your property around the cars. Suddenly, they’re no longer broken cars, but objets d’art . That’s some First Amendment shit, or whatever it is that lets people draw a comedy mustache on pictures of major religious figures. High society will gather around and debate whether or not the shattered crankshaft of your Mighty Max represents the futility of industrial endeavour or simply the limited tensile strength of the over-porous casting of the counterweight webbing. And when the cop comes around again to bust your ass, you better believe you’ll be able to get a much more sober lawyer than me to represent freedom of expression and art itself.

- seatsafetyswitch (paging David Tracy)

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Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 10:18

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“ I’ve been representing shitty car nerds in their quests to obtain more shitty cars.”

So are the nerds or the cars really crappy in this context? Like, are they just really bad at being nerds or do they only know stuff about crap cans?

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 07/23/2020 at 10:30

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LOL

vondon302 > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 10:30

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“ the company V olare keeps breaking down”

Seatsafetyswitch is a treasure. 

Thomas Donohue > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 10:36

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Why pay fake lawyers, when you can just buy a fake garage for your cars?

Looks like the perfect six bay, nine car storage facility to me. 

$1200.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Thomas Donohue 07/23/2020 at 10:37

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Haha - did you float this idea to Tracy?

Future next gen S2000 owner > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 10:41

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My neighbor has a broken down, lifted International(?) in his driveway. No one thinks twice about it because the body is in tact and in decent shape but the tags are like a decade out of date, there are jackstands tucked neatly up against the tire at all corners, and some small wheel chocks hiding behind the wheels. The tires aren’t bolted on as there are no lug studs to use but the tires are pressed up against the hub and the leaning slightly. Plus the wheel chocks keep them from rolling away. Keeps it clean with regular washes and is never covered with a tarp.

It’s all about the appearance. From 20 feet, it looks like it could legitimately could drive away under its own power. Hop in and drive down the highway.

It’s only those that walk past and take a minute to study the vehicle that realize it is in no shape to be driven. Hell it took me half a dozen times to realize exactly what was going on.

Suburban camo for non-running cars. It’s a million dollar idea.  I just need investors.

ClassicDatsunDebate > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 10:42

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A-833 has more nerd cred.

Thomas Donohue > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 10:43

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No, I need to monetize it first.  

Discerning > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 10:44

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I’ ve had a few project cars, but I believe that if you can’t store them indoors or behind a fence, then you have too many cars or you might not have the means to have that project car. But I also believe garages are for cars and if you aren’t using that space for cars then I can’t sympathize.

I’ve had a project that kept behind a fence out of view and I’ve had a project that I kept at a storage facility to keep it out of view and to give me a better area in which to work on it. If you can’t come up with a solution to play by the rules, then you should probably play a different game 

This is just my opinion. Not criticizing or pointing fingers at anyone in particular

ranwhenparked > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 10:45

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Wouldn't work in his case, the code specifies that inoperable cars can't kept outside a permanent structure 

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Discerning 07/23/2020 at 11:00

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If my neighbor was doing something similar, I’m sure I’d feel differently. Just something light to pass along this morning . =)

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > vondon302 07/23/2020 at 11:10

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I’ve never heard of them before today. Is that blog just their ramblings?

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > Discerning 07/23/2020 at 11:19

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It’s all about respect for your neighbors.

I got into it with a few people on a recent Tracy post about his (self inflicted) legal issues. Some people just do not give a shit what their neighbors think. I think that’s such a detrimental thing to our society. If you can’t even attempt to get along and be respectful to people literally right next to you, what hope is there?

Discerning > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 11:20

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Understood. I’ve seen a few examples and always meter my response based on the each case. One person had a perfectly fine car that they just didn’t have registered because they covered it during the winter. Someone somehow found out and threw a fit. But I couldn’t have cared less. Didn't see an issue with it.

The other example that sticks out in my mind was a car that stood out and never seemed to have any work done to it. It was a 2nd gen eclipse that was always up on jack stands and missing its hood . Turns out they were parting it out and it was just taking forever. But that’s not something you want to see every time you drive into your community.

vondon302 > I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker 07/23/2020 at 11:21

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He used to be on Oppo back in the day, but yeah pretty much.

Discerning > WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI 07/23/2020 at 11:22

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I agree. Having experienced neighbors who genuinely didn ’t care how they impacted those around them, I don’t have as much sympathy towards those who are inconsiderate towards their neighbors.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Discerning 07/23/2020 at 11:27

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Our first home in town was next to such a person. So thankful to get out of there 3 years later without losing money on the sale.

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > Discerning 07/23/2020 at 11:28

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It’s such a bizarre point of view that I genuinely can’t wrap my head around.

I want to tell people  “ you do realize that how you act will get reciprocated back onto you, right?” Some people don’t I guess........

I like cars: Jim Spanfeller is one ugly motherfucker > vondon302 07/23/2020 at 11:35

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Yeah, the name seemed a little familiar

Thomas Donohue > ranwhenparked 07/23/2020 at 11:35

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It has a metal frame, and if you don’t plan on taking it down, it’s permanent!!!

/s

BigBlock440 > vondon302 07/23/2020 at 11:39

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I miss those, they were always a great read.

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > Future next gen S2000 owner 07/23/2020 at 11:40

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Sounds like he’s clearly making SOME effort to keep it from being an eyesore for the neighborhood, which I think makes all the difference in these situations. 

Discerning > WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI 07/23/2020 at 11:43

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They really don’t. Some people just have a really poor attitude and possibly a really poor situation that has eroded any chance of them being civil.

Had a nearby neighbor who I think hated life. She was always shouting at her kids and screaming. She liked to honk her horn a dozen times when she got home to alert everyone that she needed help with bags. Every day. Not sure what she was coming home with every day, but I d igress. Any way, one day I decided to politely ask her to stop honking her horn. I tried my hardest to come off as polite and diplomatic as possible. Her reaction was beyond in sane. Cursing and screaming at me before storming inside. Kept my distance after that.

Future next gen S2000 owner > WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI 07/23/2020 at 11:43

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We also don’t have an HOA, so it is really on him just trying to be neighborly, which I appreciate.

WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAnowbacktoGTI > Future next gen S2000 owner 07/23/2020 at 11:56

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Don’t get me wrong, the HOA’s can take it way to o far in the other direction.

Snuze: Needs another Swede > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 12:04

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I’ll just go ahead and use this space to confess the guilt pangs I feel about my Volvos. The 850 is currently up on jacks in my driveway , I rebuilt the rear suspension last weekend but several bolts are one time use only. I ordered replacements last Friday but they haven’t arrived yet.

The 240 is on the street, it was supposed to be in the driveway because the 850 was supposed to be gone. I had an understanding buyer (read: fellow Volvo nerd) who made me a reasonable offer for it as is, but then he flaked. So I’m trying to fix up the remaining issues (suspension and AC system) so I can sell it without a lot of dickering over it’s condition (nobody wants to buy a car with non-functional AC when it’s 95 every day). I had already brought the 240 down from Aremmes’ place because I felt bad leaving it in his driveway for much longer than I intended and I thought the 850 would be gone.

The thing is, all my neighbors are totally cool with all this. Everyone weirdly loves the 240 wagon (which drives my wife nuts). I think it’s because I’m nice and polite and we’re all friends, and because I help them with car issues (taught my one neighbors oldest how to change his own oil, help my other neighbors son with his Jeep). I think it’s also because I make progress - our house was abandoned for 6 years when we bought it and we’ve fixed it up, and my cars are fro m time to time up on jacks for a few days or something, but I always get them fixed back up and moved around and stuff.

I’m also by no means the worst, heck the guy across the street has 4-5 shit heaps at any given time that leak oil into the street, and there are other houses in other parts of the neighborhood that are even worse. And it’s overall a really nice neighborhood.  

But I still feel guilty about my 2 moderately crappy cars.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available 07/23/2020 at 12:16

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“Eat, grandma” or “eat grandma”?

ranwhenparked > Thomas Donohue 07/23/2020 at 12:17

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If the building inspector asks questions, tell him it's a gazebo 

Who is the Leader - 404 / Blog No Longer Available > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever 07/23/2020 at 12:22

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First one, then the other.

notsomethingstructural > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 12:42

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I think the best point I saw someone make was - basically - if someone had 50 non-operable, rusted washing machines in their front yard and a mountain of parts, would you feel any differently?

If someone wants to take the super libertarian view and say “what’s mine is mine, what’s yours is yours” I have no issue with it as long as you have no issue with me having like 50 cattle next door and leaf fires and operating a private live-fire range for my buddies. Otherwise just fucking knock it off with property rights crap.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Snuze: Needs another Swede 07/23/2020 at 12:43

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That’s great that you’ve good neighbors (for the most part).

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > notsomethingstructural 07/23/2020 at 12:44

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LOL - good point!

Thomas Donohue > ranwhenparked 07/23/2020 at 12:58

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“My daughter is having a violin recital next weekend. No need to look inside, just some folding chairs.”

“Also, don’t mind the oil slick and dead grass surrounding it. I just.....changed the oil.... in my lawnmower?”

Snuze: Needs another Swede > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 13:02

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Yeah, I’m quite lucky, we got a really good house, on a really good street, in a really good neighborhood.  I guess that’s why I feel guilty, I don’t want to be the one bringing things down, even if I’m not the worst offender. 

facw > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com 07/23/2020 at 13:03

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David did say in the comments that he feels like he needs fewer cars, not more sheds. Which is a reasonable take, he’s not wrong that wrenching on these is taking time he could use for other more interesting things.